It’s been rough

It’s been rough bro. I hope and ask that you be with us always however that may be possible. Annalys’s dad died. When I went to the hospital to see her I saw her dad Simon and lost it. I started crying and shaking cause every time I looked at him I saw YOU. I don’t want to get into the details but you know what I mean. I saw what you looked lie in the hospital and it was miserable. And less than a week later he died. So say hi to him for me and Annalyse. Have a beer together and watch the Warriors game with cooper on your lap. 

The semester is finally over and I don’t know if I will pass. One of my teachers dropped my grade from an A to a super low C because I was texting annalyse in class. Even after I told him I was texted her because her died just died. I wasn’t making any sound or anything and sit in the back of the class. He knows about you too. What an asshole am I right? I have to just let it go and say at least I passed. But I don’t think I will pass my other class. We’ll see. The vacations are coming up and so is moving for me. Please if there is something you are with me for let it be Costa Rica and when I move. I really want it to be all the time but I don’t know how it works. I want you to be with us and watch over us and I want you to not just be gone. Gone forever and I want to see you when I die. Because that is what keeps me going. Knowing that I will see you when I die. I am actually jealous of the dogs cause they will see you before I will. Won’t they? Is that how it worked. Will you see the dogs and will you see me and us? I don’t know and I will be asking these questions until the day I die along with everyone else. 

Okay well mom and I are going to a Compassionate Friends Meeting it’s for people who have lost loved ones and it was good last time to hear that other people are going through what we are. I mean it’s not good but it’s comforting. All right. I got to go. Not like you’re reading these anyways. 

With Loads of Love 

Alyssa 

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