It’s driving me crazy!!!!

So I’ve been in bed for the better part of 2 days now…..AGAIN. I’m definitely gonna have to mention this crap to my doctor, because this is getting worse & worse, & I can’t deal. As if I really need yet one more health issue, right?? The respiratory people sent this thing to my house recently, a watch type thing I had to wear on my wrist overnight & then call them with the numbers displayed on the readout. Next thing I know, my drs office is calling me saying I’ve got to go in for an office visit because I have to be put on a CPAP machine. What? The? Hell??? What next?????? I’ll probably regret asking that. 

I had my Suboxone appt last week, & just as I feared, she cut my dose back. I knew it was coming, but until it happens, it’s not real, u know? It scaresz the shit out of me every time she cuts me back, because I’m always afraid the lower dose will allow some of the withdrawal symptoms show through. The very idea of waking up dope sick kills me inside. If I could go back a few years to before I fired that first pill, I never would’ve done it. But it’s kinda too late now. As long as I never have to go through it again, I’ll be fine.

I don’t know if anyone even reads my journal entries, but if they do, I’m sure they think I’m all over the place. Sorry……I guess I’m just really broken.

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