When we were back in Albuquerque we were good…..we had the occasional spat but nothing major.  Once we hit Phoenix it’s like someone flipped a switch.  He’s drinking worse than a fish, he’s mean and combative, inattentive and could care less about me or about us unless I threaten to pack up and leave.  At that point he gets even angrier and accuses me of trying to run away from home and not caring about our relationship.  He claims the reason my mother won’t have anything to do with me is because I ran away.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  She disowned me when I was diagnosed bipolar and at the same time she married my step father who (I believe) made her chose between me and him…..and he wanted a new car, a Cadillac.  She chose him and they both got new high end cars and I was left high and dry on the streets.  I couldn’t afford a motel or an apartment and she told me I deserved to live on the streets.

I’m on disability and get more than most.  I don’t see how they’re getting along at all. I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place right now.  I can’t afford to live alone here and need someone to help with rent and the groceries. 

3 thoughts on “Good”

  1. I can’t believe you’re still going on about this bullshit guy who never treated you right. Things didn’t just ‘flip a switch’ its just that he got drunk and thus became more honest about how he feels. You really need to wake the fuck up because its not only his fault. Its Your fault too for being so gullible and so desperate for a man that you would let a loser like him treat you that way.

  2. So easy for people to have opinions on what you should do when they haven’t experienced something like this. I just joined this site to get somethings off my chest involving my own relationship but these type of people are what I’m trying to avoid. I have a husband who doesn’t listen and is very controlling and abusive . It’s not easy to escape. I know. Lord I know. Im almost hesitant to share my own stories with the judgemental people on here. If you ever need someone to talk to who understands, I’m here.

  3. I hope you’re doing okay, I see that this was posted way back in mid-May and was your last post. I have read through all your journal entries and truly understand your pain having been through something similar myself. Don’t ever lose hope and stick to your goals. No matter how hard it is. Sometimes you just have to do what’s best for your own sanity and drop people like this Ian of yours. He deserves everything that is coming his way. I wish to hear from you soon and see how you’re doing. Best of luck.

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