It was a sunny day at moms house in walnut creek.

Logan cody mom nick and I were arguing. I went to my room and thought to myself this is what it will be like without the glue to keep us together. 

You are the glue. You were the glue. 

Logan came in my room and said Cody was screaming. I walked out to try and stop the screaming match. 

And there cody was laying on moms bed on his phone even more quite than a mouse. 

I thought to myself maybe it was Nick that was yelling. So I went looking out in the backyard.

Everything was quite and no arguing or screaming in site. 

There were 2 huge tall swings, one in the middle of the yard and the other in the back right corner. There mom was swinging in the closer one in the middle. She looked so happy as if she were a child that just walked out of a candy store. Swinging back and forth smiling with no care in the world. 

There you were. In the back right swing with a smile on your face starring at mom. You didn’t say anything you didn’t stop smiling. You looked so happy.

You were wearing a black short sleeved shirt and grey sweat shorts. I could see you so clearly as if you were only inches away from me. 

You were how you looked most recently. Strong, tall, happy, like a man instead of my little brother. You both looked so happy and careless. 

My heart sunk and mom yelled “What’s wrong alyssa? What is it” I was petrified and at loss of what to do. My brother had come back from the dead after all. 

Mom looked around and saw nothing. Saw nothing of what I was seeing. 

You then looked at me while continuing to smile continuing to look amazing and happy as if you were your own light of life and didn’t need the sun. 

I started crying and screamed at the top of my lungs “JUSTIN IS RIGHT THERE” 

And as I said those words.. As I screamed those words I woke up to myself yelling in my sleep.

I woke up to a reverse nightmare with my little brother happy and glowing and right next to me in my sleep and when I awoke I was forced to remember my little brother is gone.  

Not next to me smiling but Far Far Away where I cannot see nor touch you but only dream 

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