Learning to believe in ones self.

I got this crazy idea to buy a house when I found this BEAUTIFUL home about half an hour from here. It was only a few years old, on just over an acre of land and it had these incredible floor to ceiling windows from one end of the living room to the other and a porch that did just the same. The porch was half covered and looked over the land. It was literally a dream come true. The catch? The owners had foreclosed and in doing so, they terrorized the house. They smashed holes in the walls and demolished the kitchen. Estimated remodel cost? $20k. But ironically, I wasn’t scared! At all. I probably should’ve been, but my brother in law owns a construction business and in my eyes, it was an opportunity to rebuild it how I want and the end result would be that I have my dream home for one hell of a price! In fact, there’s even home buying programs designed for rehabs! It felt perfect to me. I looked at the house online probably 10 times a day. But then I decided to propose the idea to my family and I made the mistake of being so excited and thinking this was such an amazing idea!… And just like that, without any consideration for my excitement, without so much as a single thought, the answer was no. Just like that, no. I knew in my heart it was somewhat of a far fetched idea but there was this overwhelming feeling that trumped all, this feeling that it could have been my dream house. I had to at least try… And just like that, it was gone… 

House #2. A house with a detached mother in law suite comes on the market. I’m beyond excited! It’s similarly priced to most single family homes in the area and I’ve been a landlord for the past 5 years! This is perfect! Better yet, I will live in the mother in law and rent the big house which would pay the mortgage each month! Both houses were to die for! Cedar cabinets, stainless steel appliances and this plaid carpet that sounds weird but was incredible!! I LOVED them! Not to mention there was room for a yard and fire pit, too! To top it off, it’s smack dab in the middle between where I live now and my parents house, woohoo! I ran to my Mom’s and boasted “look! look!”. Her response was “Where are you going to get $300,000 dollars?”. Talk about bursting a bubble or popping a balloon… I tried my hardest not to cry. I didn’t get it, this was the perfect plan for someone like me! Why didn’t she see it too? More so, I later told friends and other family about it and they jumped with excitement and told me it was the greatest idea ever… I thought so, too. The problem? I can’t buy a house without my parents willingness to co-sign. I’m disabled, I don’t make the money needed to qualify on my own. And just like that, we’re two dreams down and I’m deflated…

The cost of the first house, remodel included, would’ve cost me a little less than $200,000. Can you imagine the feeling I got when, yesterday, social media promoted a video ad for that exact home that is now for sale… For $400,000… My heart sank and I felt sick to my stomach. I tried not to be angry but it was there, nagging at me as the tears welled in my eyes…That should’ve been my home. Mine. Like, my forever home. I could never afford $400,000 for a house and even if I had wanted to sell it, that’s a $200,000 profit!!  The other home, with the mother in law? It sold in 3 days. And I am angry because I can’t help but to wonder why no one believed in me? Both of these scenarios proved to be great ideas. Opportunities that we missed out on because no one took the time to listen to me. If I had thought they were bad ideas, I would’ve been cautious, I wouldn’t have let myself get so excited but I knew in my heart these were good ideas… Yet I didn’t put up a fight when they shut me down. I didn’t speak up. Perhaps I need to believe in me a little more, too. I can’t change anyone else but if I have learned one thing, it’s that I am capable of adapting, of changing, and I will learn to believe in myself. Wait and see. 


2 thoughts on “Learning to believe in ones self.”

  1. After reading your post, all I gathered is that you found out that you’re brilliant! Don’t let the small stuff let you down. You discovered a talent that can make you very successful.

Leave a Comment: