My maternal grandmother has end stage Dementia. She can’t go the restroom on her own, feed herself or remember something from hours before. She can’t remember things or people. I can call her a few days apart and to her a few days is a few years. She sometimes thinks her deceased husband, my papa, is still alive. He’s been dead 7 years. To her he’s just down the road at the grocery store & asked about me the other day. I wish he really could ask about me. Some nights he visits her and spends the night cuddled up watching television. I just smirk at the thought of it & wish he could he come tell me “hello”. I can remember just 7 years ago watching my grandmother cry her eyes out while I sang at my Papa’s funeral. We laid that sweet man to rest and I didn’t think it would be so soon she would forget. Now, it’s just a matter of time before she joins him. I don’t want to think about that but it’s reality. She won’t live forever. One day she will forget how to breathe. Isn’t that how they go? They – dementia patients. I swear they are the most valuable. The care that is provided to them is sometimes sub-par. She’s been to 2 different facilities. It literally took me years to convince my mother it was time for her to go somewhere. My aunt is getting older herself and can no longer provide for her. Watching and experiencing this has made me consider changing my line of work. I wish there was more I could do. I wish I could remind her without scaring her how much I love her. I want so badly to talk about all of the sweet camping trips she took me on with my Papa or remind her of the countless thrift stores we searched through. It’s going to be a sad day when she crosses the threshold but I have a feeling it’s coming soon.
I will remember for you Nanny.