life goes on I guess

hey. I don’t even know if you are really here, let alone if you read these but I guess I’m still writing them. I guess I’ll just update you on what’s been going on in what’s left of my life. volleyball ended thank god, I’m not playing club next year. I’m just over it and I want to get a job.  I am still going to play school even thought I don’t want to, but I know you would want me to.   Schools over now, those last few months were hell I don’t know how I did it. I failed my math final and ended up with a C in algebra 2 but I’m honestly happy I even passed that class. I’m happy I passed any of my classes. I didn’t want to try at all and I didn’t on some things but I’m sure that’s understandable. I get my license in July. I don’t even think I’ll have a car by then though so yeah. I wish you were here so we could go places together, not have to have our parents drive us. Finally it could be just us. I got a kitten, you know how I always said I wanted one. Her name is coco. She’s crazy and super cute, you would’ve loved her even though you hate cats. Want to know something crazy, I haven’t gone shopping since you’ve been gone. I haven’t gone shopping in over 2 months! You should be proud. The reason is cuz it reminds me too much of you. Of us and of our mall trips. How we’d always help eachother pick out clothes. That was one of the things we had in common. So it’s hard for me to even want new things now. My parents are the same, going to work and coming home and doing whatever they usually do. I think they think I’m getting better. I’m not. My sister is out with Dustin going on adventures. They are moving in together this winter so I finally get her room. My dad says his business is really taking off but who knows what will happen with that. Dawson broke up with aycee. He says because he wants something new but I think he just doesn’t know how to deal with all of it. I actually started hanging out with aycee and Ashtyn and they are super nice. I’ve gone to a couple parties since you’ve been gone. Some I did really have fun but most of them all I can think about is you and how you aren’t there with me. New songs have come out. New movies have come out. Life really does just go on. The clock doesn’t stop, even though I feel like it should. I don’t know how life is supposed to go on but I guess it just does cuz that’s just how life works. I don’t really have any other updates. I’m still hurt, confused, depressed, angry. I miss you. I miss our life before all of this. I’m so sorry it had to be you. I would take your place in an instant if I could. I love you. Lily♥️

One thought on “life goes on I guess”

  1. i’m proud of your progress Lily! Enjoy your new kitten 🙂

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