it doesnt matter. everything. me.
such stupid simple meaningless things seem to find a way to blow out of proportion in my head. smothering any feelings of confidence and worth. i have no value, i can be thrown away and no one would notice. whats worse than that, no one would care. the world would go on, and my name will eventually be forgotten.
im not usually depressed. and i doubt that this even is depression. i dont feel depressed. i feel more like ive figured it out, ive realized that theres just nothing. this is my life, until i die. until then i will overwork and overstress myself for… nothing.
is it worth it? continuing to drudge through each day pretending like im enjoying it? what is the point? if this is all there is, then im not so sure i want to stick it out.
i dont like feeling so empty.