6/14 3:18pm Serenity Prayer, 6/13 night documentation, Cold Showers

Another bad night yesterday,

Somehow there was a smoke detector beeping in the evening and throughout the night that must have been from another unit. I was paranoid checking my own detectors throughout the night…it wasn’t from me…and this morning as I stepped outside my unit, I could hear it even louder. It must have been from a unit with nobody present.

Going to stay at my parent’s tonight in OC.

Was so tired but it’s like my body is afraid to fall asleep. My mind was so tired but the body is tense and alert…ended up taking a Valium in the early morning am hours even though the plan was not to take any drugs last night. Wanted to relax the muscles.

I did have a short dream so I guess I was sleeping. Sometimes the sound machines and fan don’t appear to help as much anymore. I resorted to using an ear plug in my right ear and slept on my left side…it seemed to work or maybe I was just so exhausted. Sleeping on my left side is usually more comfortable to me but now it makes things louder.

The tinnitus was “irritable” to me during the daytime today at work (2.5) but as the day progressed, it got better so I’d bump the comfort level up to a (3.0.) “discomfort only”.

This is really taking a toll on me. I pray/ask for the ability to endure…and to see that there many who have it worse. I am fortunate that the ringing is not too loud as to disrupt my day…but sleeping is really what I need.

I’ve been taking cold showers the past week. I’ve read about the benefits before…such as preventing your hair from feeling dry (due to hot water). The intention now is to reduce and help with inflammation. It also makes me feel more energetic…though I’m not sure if this is a good thing before bed time.

I’ve tried this once before but it was hard to stick to it. The idea is to put your body through discomfort, and to remain discipline enough to stick to it. My hope is to challenge my body through discomfort…so that I can build the discipline to adjust/adapt/cope to any discomfort encountered in my daily life.

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