my depression

I am not used to doing stuff like this but i also dont want to bother friends or family with my problems cause i dont think anyone cares. i am on social security because i have suicidal tendancies and depression i have borderline personality disorder panic and anxiety disorder i have insomnia so bad i do anything to pass out at night and that means taking like 20 pills to sleep. i havent had a physical dr in 5 yrs because i really dont like the phone my anxiety makes me stutter and i want to cry. i was bullied for YEARS when i was in school it took a huge toll on my self esteem i overdosed when i was 16 it didnt work i tried to switch schools but i ended up not doing it so i went back to coughlin where everyone threw rocks at me and told me to go back where i belong. when i was 18 years old i had sit my wrists they said a half an inch deeper i would have died ……i was upset i fail at everything even that…..i got addicted to drugs when i was around 22 i used that to block out everything in my life and finally sleep i overdosed 5 times the last time i overdosed on heroin i left rehab with this kid we went to philly we got so high it was so much fun well i woke up in a hospital and he never did 🙁 i have slit my wrists and passed out in a pizza place where i also woke up in a hospital no matter how many times i call for help nobody takes me seriously i have been feeling really down lately but i have no choice but to pretend im ok because well nobody cares anyway

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