I’ll keep ya posted

What’s up,

Cody and I are at a coffee shop. This is where I have been writing all these posts I just find it easier to write when I’m out and tuned into musica. I have decided I want to start adding pictures every time I write just to give a point of reference. And if gma keeps reading these she can see what’s goin on. (((HI GRANDMA!! I LOVE YOU)))

It’s 2 days before we leave for our first family vacation without you. 2 days before we head to Mexico. I am very excited. Excited to get away and to be with the ocean. The one thing that always no matter what can make me smile. Life goes by pretty fast ya know. Sometimes it goes by crazy fast and sometimes I just want to fast forward through everything to see you. I miss you so much. Logan and I were talking this morning about how much we miss you. I can’t even believe simple things. Like I’m never going to be able to hug you. Never going to be able to share a coffee and laugh with you. Never going to be able to lose a game to you again. Never going to be able to embarrass you in front of strangers or your friends. And Then there’s the big things. Never going to see you graduate high school or college and you won’t be with me when I graduate. I won’t be able to see what you would of looked like in 30 years with a successful job and beautiful, talented, athletic, intelligent kids. I wanna travel and create new memories. I want to see my little bro get married and hear about your crazy college adventures. 

I am wearing your shirt. Which I often do, wear you clothes although I do them no justice. I have no ~aesthetic~. 

I wish I would’ve been able to say goodbye to you and just talk to you one last time. I wish I could hear your last words. I know your last meal was a handful of cereal and I think Carls Junior or something like that. uhg. I wish I could know your wishes and hopes and dreams so I could fulfill them for you. 

Cody and I saw Incredibles 2 today. Yes you heard correctly. Only 14 YEARS in the making!!!! But yes it is finally here and it was so good! I think it’s even better than the first one. The graphics were a lot better. I kept thinking that I wish you were there to watch it with us. I know you would’ve wanted to see it. So if you get a chance if you haven’t already and however it works where you are. Watch It! There so many memes and things about it. Pretty funny. Cody and I in line eagerly at the earliest showing on the first day it came out  ready to go LOL. 

I’ll keep ya posted this summer and as long as I live. I have to say this. At least I’m not afraid to die. It’s a good and comforting feeling not gonna lie. 

I love you and miss you so so much. 

~Big sis 

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