Down – 1/7/2018 – 9.25am

Started to go to workout classes to work out again . I feel so down, when he said that I only went to workout half  and dont even put any effort to put down weight . Listening him said like that made me feel damn sad . He dont even know  how hard I am trying to lose weight JUST FOR HIM . I even turn to slimming pills , which I know is not a good solution . I recently bought new diet pills  again, I dont know if its gonna work or not , but I hope that it will work . Hoping that I will be able to lose weight  like  5 years ago . I hate myself , my body , my image, I hate everything about me . 

Last night I was supposed to follow him to a dinner function, but I didnt . I am ashamed with his friends  seeing me so fat, I am too fat to even give him a child . Why am I even married to him if I cant even give him a baby . Why???? I am trying so so hard, there is not  a single day that I didnt think about this. Not even one! FML

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