This past Saturday was a photoshoot I had scheduled with a friend of mine. Turns out I’m more shy about someone taking my picture then I had thought. What I find very odd about it, I have known Pocket for sometime now, she’s married to one of my closest friends. Yet, I was super nervous, literally trembling, not able to get serious enough to take the shots the required me to be. I find humor is a safety net for me when I feel uncomfortable.


Over the past few days I have been receiving the photos from her as she edits them and what not photographers do after a shoot. Much to my surprise, a lot of the photos came out very well. I don’t nearly look as awkward as I felt. Having someone staring, snapping photos, all the while my inner demise is screaming, “YOU LOOK LIKE A SQUID!”



My next entry I’ll post a few for anyone curious to see. Here is a Little bit of a teaser



We did a few fitness shots as well. We are going to schedule to do another one soon, which I’m beyond stoked for. Hoping I wont be as nervous. It’s a learning experience, I give a lot of respect to those who break out of there shell and do these types of things. Whether for a living, once in a while, for fun, I really never imagined something so simple as having someone take your picture, along with knowing them for sometime, can make someone feel so uneasy with themselves. So….Self-conscious.

A lesson to love my self, and my physical more, also to work harder to achieve the physical body I want. Seeing these photos not only made me realize I’m further then I thought. Although on the opposite side of the boulder, given the time frame that I had, I know if I worked harder I could have been in an more ideal shape. I admit I slacked on my diet, and didn’t give it my all in the gym while I was there.

Slowly but surely I’m getting my self back. Slower then I realize sometimes, realizing pretending things arn’t bothering me, or that I still think about them gets me no where. Obsessing over things I can not control, again, gets me no where.

Progress, not perfection.


Off to indulge in “Interview With A Vampire”, as it is now apparently on Netflix. One of two favorite movies. The Lion King reigning in at number one of course 🙂


One thought on “154. “YOU LOOK LIKE A SQUID!””

  1. Progress, not perfection.
    I absolutely relate to you here.

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