It’s 4 o clock in the morning. I got off work about three hours ago. My body is sore. My feet hurt. My hands and wrists are covered in fresh burns. I should be sleeping, but I can never sleep.
Instead my mind is turning. Its like a clock. The gears are constantly moving because time doesn’t stop. So I’m just going to write until I bore myself. Then I’ll find something else to do.
Sometimes I’m ashamed of myself. My desires are a little dark. I’m not quite brave enough to share them, but I can say that sometimes I wonder if most actually notice this. I doubt they do. I don’t really know. I notice how dark some people can be.
Sometimes it practically radiates off them. I watch as they stare at another person. Most wouldn’t notice it. That subtle change. Sometimes it just seems like they wish they could do forbidden things to the person they are staring at. Or sometimes the person they are just thinking of. It’s so easy to see what they want.
And sometimes I want it too.