I don’t even understand myself lately.
Iv recently got in a new relationship with someone I knew when I was a teenager, he’s recently got out of a 7 year relationship, he has a 3 year old daughter, His ex is a nightmare she was emotionally abusive to him and controlling. I never thought I would get in a relationship with someone who had a child as I can’t carry children myself i knew it would be hard knowing someone else gave my partner something I can’t. However we are together now and have been for 4 months, he moved in with me due to his ex’s family causing a lot of trouble in his home town. But still his ex is making it so hard for us, first she stated trouble by messaging me, then she stopped my partner seeing his daughter, now she’s been all nice letting him see his daughter under her terms and reminding him of what he had when they was together and the good times they shared. Before I got with my partner I made it clear to him I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a relationship because of all I have been though, in an abusive relationship for 4 years then sexually assaulted last year, but we took it slow at first and he’s been really supportive about my mental health and ptsd, he’s an amazing partner but I just don’t feel as happy as I should be and all I can think is it’s the ex thing that’s bothering me, when she upsets my partner by stopping contact with his daughter or sending him abusive messages it gets me down too, also he wants to be able to see his daughter and take me with him as she lives an hour away from us but his ex won’t allow him to go with anyone else, he won’t dare risk it Incase she finds out and stops contact again, during the week he’s at meetings or working and works most weekends with my dad, now every other Saturday he will be seeing his daughter, I feel like we hardly do anything together other then slob around the house and I also feel like he makes an effort to help my dad and see his daughter but doesn’t make an effort to go anywhere with me, I’m on sick with depression and anxiety and he will quite happily leave me in bed while he goes out and does what he has to do, he doesn’t try and motivate me to get up and get ready to do things together. I already feel like my mental health will get the better of this relationship, but he keep telling me how it won’t he’s not going anywhere and he’s here for me and we will get though it together. I just feel alone even though I’m not and don’t quite understand why I feel this way, I feel awful for feeling jealous about the fact he has a child with someone else, also I constantly worry his ex will try win him back. How can I feel better about any of this? I feel like I should just be alone because no matter what happens in my life I don’t think I will ever be fully happy due to my past, not been able to have kids and my mental health.
Comments from readers welcome.