Karma, I’m paying the piper. That’s what I believe, and I gather that idea had, up to this point, stopped me from fighting when my life went to hell in a handbasket. Well… that and my greatest fault is and has always been pushing through the long haul. I’ve always blamed my lack of fallow through on boredom. Perhaps I’ve been deluding myself. I enjoy the next step more than the present moment. I enjoy tackling new projects and once I’ve figured out how to do something and get to about 80% I’m ready to go onto the next thing. I am able to tackle almost any task set before me and have always had the ability to do it slightly better than average, my physical looks included. I’ve lived life for the next step, and now my next step alludes me, and I’m struggling with how to live today. Is it possible to change innate personality? I hope so!