slowly unraveling like the thread of a worn out hem, unwinding and loosening until all that is left is cloth and string. I tried to twist us back to how we were, tried to wrap parts of myself around you desperate for you to stay.
I would have given anything to sew the pieces together
but I cannot fight alone
I watched you shed remnants of us, trading them for new material, new embrace, a new body to fit yours snug and secure around your frame.
I am forced to reconstruct myself into something that no longer resembles who we were and how we fell. I will break, yes, but I will break boldly. I will use every piece of who I was, who I am to rebuild. I will disregard the reality that I have to be forever heartbroken over you. I will ache, but I will give myself the chances you didn’t give me.
in an ideal world, we would all communicate effortlessly. we would be honest without being cruel; verbalize exactly what we want and never just fade into the background without being heard.
but this isn’t an ideal world.
there is no utopia.
there is no perfect place
things are misconstrued. egos show up instead of the people attached to them. we as beings are selfish and generous, sometimes at the same time. this is reality. this is understanding how complicated people are and that searching for a reason to explain “why” is impossible.
she came into my life like a whirlwind. one moment I was steady and the before I knew it I was spinning in circles trying to find solid ground. my love flowed effortlessly.
but life is messy.
the innocence in me wanted to believe in fairy tales and happily ever after,
the innocence in me wanted to believe that true love could last forever
the innocence in me wanted to believe true love could overcome anything
but life is messy