[347] ~*Sun – 09/02/18*~

[10:35 pm]

When it’s not one thing, it’s another one. I don’t know why I do this to myself. It’s really as if my brain can’t just relax. When there’s nothing to worry or think about, it needs to find something to focus on. 

I haven’t really been thinking about anything today, up to now. I was just in the bathroom and looked at the wall where the washer/hamper is and I started not liking the fact that the corner of the wall is a bit banged up from the hamper rubbing on the wall when we open/close it. That said, there is now no more paint or wall for a matter of fact or I don’t really know how to explain it but there is no more paint in certain spots so it’s kinda black and the wall is beige-ish. It’s been there FOR EVER as we’ve been here for 10 yrs and the hamper as been there for all those year so that’s pretty much 10 yrs of rubbing so you can imagine the lil damage to the wall. Anyways, for some freaking reason it’s really bugging me right now. I’ve even been looking online to see if I could just paint those spots with craft paint, just to cover them. I want to go out and buy paint and paint it so damn bad right now but the prob is, the color won’t match. I’m telling myself that at least it would be better than no paint but will it really be? Will I really be okay with the difference in paint or should I just leave it?! Arg! Why do I do this to myself. It’s insane! I know I will forget about it but right now it’s just yelling at me to paint the damn thing. I’m trying to think of ideas on how I could cover it without having to paint but I’m not sure what I could do. Like I’ve said, I will forget about it cause it’s been there for ever and I have no darn clue why it’s suddenly bugging me. That’s just me having to think of something. My friend is always asking me if I walk around the house to find things to worry/think about when everything is okay and I honestly think I am. Blah!

All that said, I’M FINALLY ON VACATION. I can’t believe it. I made it! Woohoo! Now I just need to wait for Tue to get here so we can pack up and leave for the campground. Once I set foot in that campground, the world won’t exist no more. It would just be so damn awesome if I could go to that interview tomorrow and get that job right away. Then I’d know that I’d be coming back to a new job. It would just make things much easier to know I wouldn’t have to go back to driving people in the new car. Gosh am I ever dreaming. Even if I’m offered the job, I need it to pay at least $16/hour to take it. I just wish so very badly that it will all work out. I need it!

The store was freaking crazy today. It’s a holiday tomorrow so it’s closed AND students are back to school so they are all buying stuff for their apartment. At least it made the day go by very fast. I was actually counting the hours till my vacation time. Haha!


Blah! I was just adding things up cause I’m still trying to figure out what kinda wage I need to be able to make the same as I am making now. It’s hard to figure out cause I get my wage, then I get some gas money and then I get some activity money so if I add all this up I’m paid about $17/hr. That said, I just went back and checked my budget sheets and added every month and did an average of how much I make and to make the same I would need to be paid at least 16.75/hr. Arg! I really don’t know if I’m gonna be able to find a job that pays that much. I was gauging for $16 but if I settle for that I will be $52 short every month. It’s still not bad cause I’ll be using less gas so it should work out. All I know, I can’t settle for less than that for sure or I’d have too much of a lost and I can’t afford that. My hope is to be making more but for now I’m only looking for something that will let me get out of using my car. I can always look for something else later and take my time as now I sorta need to rush into a new job cause I really don’t want to be using the new car anymore.

I really really hope that the Casino will work out but then again, I applied to a calling center and if I calculate things with that place, it would work out to exactly what I am currently making so that would be perfect. Only thing, I’m not sure I can handle a calling center. Last time I worked there, I couldn’t do it, I had to quit. I’m scared that the same thing will happen but I am ready to give it another try. But like I’ve just said, this one calling center that I applied too would work out perfectly as far as wage wise if I’m getting my calculation correctly. I would actually be making $5 more per month. Hahaha!


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