This is the life you signed up for first. Before romanticizing the idea of having a baby, think about what else you are signing up for. You are signing up for a baby, a toddler, a child, a teen, and an adult. You are signing up for higher insurance, dentist appointments, doctor appointments, orthodontist appointments, soccer practice, ballet practice, college. You are signing up for temper tantrums, illness, homework assignments. You are signing up for a baby screaming at you for your affection to then turn into a teenager screaming at you to leave them alone.
As someone entering into a relationship with a person with a child, I knew what I was getting when it came to the child. What I was not prepared for was someone who so willingly neglects all aspects of being a parent. He wanted a baby, but he was not ready to be a parent. A parent should not have to be reminded to encourage their child to brush their teeth twice a day (once a day for that matter). A parent should not watch television or their phone more than they are spending time with their child. A parent should not allow their child to get on their phone or get on a tablet and watch whatever they want at 4 years old. A four year old should not be playing grand theft auto. A four year old should at least begin to comprehend how to wipe their butt. A parent should not do everything for their child because they are unwilling to take the time to teach that child basic life skills. That child should not be behind simply because of negligence.
Within a month of knowing the child, I was able to correct speech problems. Instead of saying “horry” he can now say “sorry”. That is not okay. These issues could have been fixed when he was first learning to talk. The only reason he has issues now is because mom and dad just said “eh, close enough”. Close enough is not good enough when it comes to a child’s development. Because you said “close enough”, none of his classmates, teachers, family, etc. can understand him. Can you imagine how frustrating that is for a pre-school/ kindergartner? Mind you- this is not an actual speech problem. This is negligence. Within a year of knowing this child he has gone from barely being able to say simple sentences to saying complex sentences. Instead of having to show me what he means, he has the vocabulary to be able to explain details to me describing what he wants or needs.
I’m at a loss. I don’t know what to do. The father does not understand how negligent he is being by just sticking his child in front of a tablet to keep him off his nerves. He does not understand the concept of actually listening to his child. He constantly interrupts and ignores him. When the child interrupts and ignores him, he gets mad. I have to remind him that because he does that to his son, his son does not know any better.
So before you get baby fever and have a baby over your selfish wants, think about what you’re signing up for. Don’t be a shit parent.