I allowed myself to feel pain today. I woke up not feeling like myself really. I have been forcing myself to get over HIM. I don’t even look at his texts anymore. I try not to think about all the good times that we used to share. All that haunts me is what HE did to me and how HE broke my heart. How dumb I was to let HIM do it. It’s been almost 5 months and I’m still not over HIM. I still lie awake silently. I still hope that he would come back to me and want to continue what we had in a real way. Why do I keep torturing myself endlessly? I’m afraid I will never find someone that will make me feel as happy as HE did. I feel so foolish. I told myself long ago to get over it, someone that cared about your feelings wouldn’t have done something like this. I feel like this is it. Maybe I’m supposed to be alone.