I do

People have such sweet stories about their meeting, proposals and marriages. I met King in HS. He was quiet, a rebel, different. I had to have him.  He, however, did not believe in relationships. I later learned about his life and it was understandable. He was a bit of a man whore (a bit is putting it mildly). Fast foward 15 years later and he shows up on my doorstep looking to rent a room. Why not. My husband at the time was a lazy POS who was allergic to work and had sticky fingers who enjoyed vacationing in the finest of county facilities. I was at my wits end with my husband before King moved in but he made it so much easier to finally put my foot down (more in my future ex husbands ass).  I told him that if he got locked up one more time…..I was DONE.  King and I started fooling around while the future ex was in prison.  I sorta pushed myself on him. Things progressed, future ex gets out  I pick him up and drop him off at a homeless shelter with a bag of clothes and informed him that I wasn’t playing games.  King and I pack the kids up and moved. We moved half way across the states, then half way back, had a kid, then half way back to the MW again, had another kid.  We settled, bought a house, then a couple rentals.  11 years now come up. King is going to adopt my oldest son, my daughter (my oldest) declined.  We were sitting at the table and I tell Bub that soon, he will have the same last name as his dad and brothers.  King says “Then we will all be Smiths*”.  WHAAAA?  He swore he would never get married.  Within a month, we got our rings and went to the court to get the license.  One of his buddies said he would marry us when we were ready.  King gets up one morning and says he has some errands to run and was gonna see if he could find his buddy.  Here I am, sitting on the shitter playing Angry Birds. He calls. “Whadda doing?” 

“I’m pooping!”

“Don’t fall in, I found Kev. If you wanna handle this shit, you got a half an hr to meet me at the food pantry”

So, I get dressed in my finest of Dickies shorts and a t shirt, stuff the kids in the car and met him at the food panrty.  We got married in the break room. We went home, loaded up the RV and went camping. 

The End.

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