Socializing Like a Mothereffing Champ

I’m homeschooled and I don’t get out to places where I get much social interaction, so I don’t entirely know how people talk and I never know if a compliment will come across as weird or creepy when I make it. Like, sometimes I especially appreciate the fact that someone has a neat outfit, hair color, eye color… whatever. And I just don’t if I’d be judged for just randomly making a remark about it. It’s really silly, I know, but it freaks me the hell out and makes my chest feel all offbeat, so I don’t normally do it. I also fear that someone might think I’m flirting with them and in result make them nervous.

I’m not even introverted, I like people and I want to speak to them. People are nice. Though, I am not good at speaking verbally, and often repeat the same word a lot and I’m sure it gets very annoying to listen to. Sometimes I stutter and words come out distorted and mispronounced. For example, I was explaining something to my dad about caterpillars (yes, you read that right, caterpillars) and it kept leaving my lips as “callyerpitters”. That’s not even the worst of it.

Although I’m homeschooled, I do go have three one hour classes for different things once a week. One of them currently is Drama (Acting) which was honestly a very bad decision on my part, besides the fact that I am good at being dramatic, because when I’m around strangers my mind goes blank and I don’t know what to do. When someone asks me a question, I often don’t think they’re talking to me and don’t realize it until they’ve repeated it once or twice, and sometimes jump to conclusions in the moment and think they’re mad at me.

I feel like I’m going to cry and my jaw hurts when people talk to me sometimes, it’s really only certain acquaintances, though, and I don’t know why it happens. It’s not like they’ve ever been rude or anything.

All of this only seems to happen in-person, though. I mean, I get nervous about whether my wording is OK when online and if some might take offense to something I’ve said, but it’s not nearly as bothersome.


Have a good day and good luck living. It’s not entirely fun and probably not worth it since we’ll all die in the end and the possibility of an afterlife is dim, but maybe you shouldn’t go out as a someone who couldn’t handle first world problems. That wasn’t suppose to be as negative and judgmental as it went down! Just try to be happy, friends.

Leave a Comment: