Friday September 14th

So far, I have sold my bed, my chest of drawers, and a lamp. I still need to sell the black console table, my desk and printer stand, and most of all, that shelving unit. I am exhausted. I worked a ballgame Wednesday night. I had a rough day Tuesday at school- my 6th period was a zoo. That shit is exhausting. I didn’t get a plan at all on fucking Tuesday because of the stupid  regular meeting and then the team met. Ugh. I cannot handle that. I need a moment. I did manage to avoid being overdrawn, so that’s good. I got 2 $300 cash advances on my credit card. My money situation should start improving after I get through this move. Once I am moved, I will be spending a little less- about $120 less each month on housing and utilities. Then, when I get my tax refund, I am going to pay off that loan- at least I hope it’s enough to pay off that loan- and then I can put all my money toward paying off the credit card. Once all that is taken care of, I should be able to start saving some money to actually do something I want to do. I want to go on a volunteer vacation. I don’t know that I will have enough money to afford one this coming summer, but I should be able to do it the next summer, anyway. This summer, I might be able to afford to do one in the US. I will keep researching it. It’s looking like Greg has no intention of ever contacting me again. It has been 10 days now. I cannot believe he has done that to me. I drove 18 hours to Arkansas to see him and then he does this. How could he be that way? I always manage to find the asshole. I don’t know that I can stand to date any time soon. He broke my heart. My poor heart can’t take much more. My whole body can’t take much more. I am so tired of being sad. I’m tired of being anxious. I’m tired of hurting all the time. It doesn’t seem fair that I am so miserable. I’m not a bad person. Why does my life have to be hell?

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