Hard times

I try so hard to be normal to be a good girl to do what a good woman should do. Lately i can’t help but ask myself why? My life has been nothing but hardship,hurt,neglect,abandonment and the worst abuse. Now I’m engaged to a man that in the beginning I felt I was the center of his entire world and now since I moved in I’ve started feeling like nothing I love him but he barely wants to touch me barely holds me I am confused scared and worried I’ve made a mistake and it kills me because I love him with all I am I’ve gave up all my addictions for him and now I feel unwanted it’s feeling like it’s all for nothing I’ve never been wanted I was born to a mother who did not want children who when I was a baby she thought her baby was possessed growing beat her neglected her my father left before I was born and when I was 8 she signed me to the province so I grew up in the system never being adopted going from home to home in and out of group homes mental wards and now I’m unwanted intametly by the man I love  why I’ll never understand what is so wrong with me am I that bad why am I even breathing if it’s the case 

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