I feel like I did a lot today. I walked John 4 miles, I went to Versailles with Bethany to look at a piece of furniture at an antique shop, I gave John a bath, I gave Sophie a bath, I cleaned up the bathroom, I washed my sheets, I went to Walmart, I vacuumed the shit out of the house, trying to get rid of the fleas. The lady came and got the side table, so I made $75. I have all of October to get that stuff sold, so I’m not in a hurry. I ordered wheels to go on my white night stands- I need to make them taller if I’m going to be able to use them with Noah’s bed. I don’t know if it will look okay, but it’s worth a try. I guess I will have to rent a truck to pick up anything I buy locally. Brent is the only person I know with a truck, so not bloody likely he’s gonna let me borrow it.
Just Keep Swimming
I am a 48 year old adult child of an alcoholic. My childhood could have been a Lifetime movie. I am dealing with PTSD, anxiety, and severe depression as a result. I am working on gaining an understanding as to what this means and learning how to be okay with myself. Some days, just killing myself and being done with it seems like the most sensible option. On those days, I keep telling myself, "just keep breathing in and out, that's enough for today."