On what would have been my 5 year dating anniversary I’m laying here unable to sleep. So many thoughts are going through my head but mostly ones of death. I am so fucking ugly that women will not even talk to me unless it’s my waitress at the restaurant. Friends have even abandoned me because the divorce my “My fault for not being there” but she is the one who wanted an open marriage and cheated. If I was to die tonight would anyone truly care?? I’m sure someone would but not many. I’m a useless man who does not deserve love.