Aaj Phir

Hur roz ki tarah aaj bhi uske gud mrng k msg se ek acche din ki shuruwat hui . hur din ki tarah aaj bhi socha ki apne dil ki baat usse bta du pr wahi ek darr ki kahi dosti na tutt jaae ki wjh se aaj phir wo baat apne munn me daba li. samjh nahi ata usko kaise btau uski ek smile k liye main kya kuch kr sakta hu. usko chidhana bhi mere pyaar krne ka ek tareeka h pr shayad usne mujhe kabhi ek dost ki nazar k alawa kisi or nazar se nahi dekha. kabhi kabhi lgta h ki main shayad iske layak hu hi nahi , kbhi kbhi uski baaton se bhi darr lgta h ki shayad mere pass esa kuch nahi h jo ise chahiye. pr phir bhi koshish yhi  rhti h ki usse main humehsa khush rakhu. 

aaj phir uske udaasi bhare munn ko taslee dene ka mouka mila. uska u ruanse bharn shayad mujhe kahi na kahi chubhta h or lgta h ki jaise ki jisne bhi isko udas kiya h uska sir phod du. pr abhi jazabaato ko kaabu krke khud ko samjhana pdta h ki shayad tu uske laayak nhi hai. jub bhi wo mere saamne kisi or ladke k baare me baat krti h to use kyu nahi dikhta ki main kitna jul rha h hu un baaton ko sunn kr. mujhse nahi suna or dekha jaata uska is tarah kisi or ki taraf aakarshit hona. haan thoda protective hu ya ye kahu ki main use duiya se share nahi krna chahta. 

kya use ye bta du ki ” i really love her from the day when i saw for the frs tym” mujhe uski phli jhlk se hi pyaar ho gya tha, phli baar jub uski pic dekhi tbhi wo mujhe pasand aagyi thi pr maine aaj tk ye baat chuppa kr rkhi. 

hur roz ki tarah aaj bhi main yahi dua krke sounga ki ek din use shayad meri feelings samjh aajegi ya use bhi mujhse mohabbat ho jaae. 

aaj phir is diary me apni feelings ko subse chuppa kr rkhna pd rha h. kbhi kbhi sochta hu ki agr main na rha to kya use is baat se fark pdega ya wo mujhe jaise koi ho hi na uski life me is tarah bhula degi. agr fark pdega to kya reaction rhega ye bhi jaan ne ka munn krta h or shayad ye btane ki himmat bhi nhi ho paati ki main bus ek mehman hu jiski bakwas kb shaant ho jaae keh nahi sakte. logo ko pta hota h ki wo itna to jee lenge pr mujhe to apni agli subh ka nahi pta ki main kl ka suraj bhi dekh paaunga ya nahi. apne dil pr kitne pathar rkhe baitha hu kisko btau. roz kitni hi na dikhne wali taakato se ldna or under hi under ghutna ye bhi to ek bojh hi h. 

bus dua yhi h ki meri feelings usko jldi samjh aajae.

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