[366] ~*Tue – 10/02/18*~

[6:47 am]

This waking up at am is sooo not my thing. I am so freaking exhausted right now. I worked from 7 am to 10 pm yesterday. It went fairly good but gosh was I ever tired last night.

Sun I worked at the store and that’s pretty much it. I took a nice bath to relax my body and went to bed early as I had to get up for 6 am the next day. I was in bed at 10 but actually read until 11.

Sat I ended up not having my client but I worked at the store cause the manager was begging me to take her place so she could go somewhere to see her friends. Me being me, I’m way too nice so I said yes. I could of had the day off but I decided to take some hours. I  mainly did it so she would owe me for when my schedule gets all mess up and she needs to work me somewhere. Still trying to have a safety net as I am unsure of what I’m doing.

I just can’t believe I get out of bed and it’s still freaking dark outside. This is really not my thing. I shouldn’t be allowed out of bed when it’s still dark outside. I even get to work before the sun gets up. This is gonna be a very harsh three weeks for me. I hope that I don’t get this shift once I’m on the floor. I would of much rather the 3-11 for training.

Anyways, I said goodbye to my last client yesterday and that was really hard. She made me cry. She’s 40 but with the mentality of a 8 yrs old so she was all excited when I got to her place. She got in the car and said she had missed me last week so I asked her if her mom had talked to her. She said that yes, she had told her I had left the company but that I was back. Poor thing. I had to tell her that I wasn’t back, I was just there for that day. She started crying and it was horrible. She sucks her thumb when she’s anxious, so of course while I was driving, it’s what she was doing. We went out and it all went well until we got back home and I said my goodbye and how sorry I was to be leaving her after 5 yrs. She started crying again, hugging me and not wanting to let go. It was so heartbreaking. When she got out of the car, I started crying. This is making me want to change my mind but I know I made the right decision for the moment and I can’t change my mind cause I know in a week of going back, I’d be mad at myself cause I’d just be unhappy again. I need to think about ME right now as hard as it is. I may go back in some months from now or years but right now, this is the best thing for me and I really need to be thinking of me cause I can’t help others if I can’t help my own self.


[9:26 am]

Gosh am I ever suffering right now. I just cannot stay awake and I still have five hours to go and then, I have an interview. I don’t even know why I’m going cause I don’t even want the job anymore.

I just want to sleep so badly right now. I have a feeling I will be going straight to bed when I get home today and that’s a waste of a day. Oh well.

I still need to decide what I want to do with that nest in the basement. It cost $125 to get someone to come take care of it so I don’t know if I’ll get someone or try to do it myself. We also need to check the attic to see if we have any in there. I’m so very scared to have a look but it has to be done.

Alright back to class I go. Hope I can manage not to fall asleep.


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