Hello !

Sometimes I feel like I am drowning.

Last night, I had a hard time sleeping.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this guy and how it was his birthday and how anyone with a decent conscious could ever treat another human being so cruelly.

Then all these thoughts started festering in my head. AM I REALLY THAT WORTHLESS TO ANOTHER PERSON? AM I JUST NOT THAT IMPORTANT? I mean I know better.

I know my worth, kind of. I mean it would be nice to get some affirmation. Quite frankly, meeting guys and tricking myself to think that this guy might be a guy I could be in a relationship with, just isn’t working out for me.

I quietly sat on my couch last night, as I tried to choke back these sneaky tears that still ended up rolling down my cheeks.

Then the flood gates opened, and I ugly cried. I mean I ugly cried. At first I thought about how pathetic I was, and then I got up and starting sketching . That led to pulling out my watercolors.

I still couldn’t sleep. All I was wanting was a warm body to just hold me close and tell me it was going to be okay.

Denise.

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