Letter #7: Dear D

Dear D., 

I can’t always be the one trying to keep the conversation going. Or if I should even try. You’re so close yet so far away. How easy, I think, it would be to agree to a time to sit down and have a conversation across a dimly lit table from one another. But maybe revisiting the past, confronting it in the present, ruins everything. I mean, isn’t that what I learned from W.?

The future I once imagined is here, where maybe everything could finally fall into place. If we’d both made different decisions so very long ago. I would have had to be the one to make a choice that would have changed my life so drastically. Who would I be, where would I be, if I’d let it all go? Would you have followed me or continued down the road on your current path? Was it all one of fate’s tests? Could we have had it all?

I have stumbled and fallen so many times in the last few years. You were there for a blink of an eye, shining a light and guiding me to where I don’t even know, until one day the flame flickered and there was only smoke left in its wake.

I follow the shadows along the walls, hoping they bring me closer to you. I can’t find you when there is still so much darkness. 

This time, let me be the light. I’ll guide you to somewhere I don’t even know, and I promise not to ever let the flicker die. At the end, there will only be peace and happiness, the lifetime we missed out on far behind us, only the future awaiting—one that finally has a you and me together.


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