There are some people in this world you are designed to love. Obligated to care for. An expected friendship. For most people, this is a simple task. Something they gladly do with open arms. However what if this doesn’t come naturally? Is it suppose to be easy or is it simple by design? Today I don’t know. There was a time when it was easy and fun and real. But as time stretches on people change. And we no longer bond the way we once did. In fact it’s hard to simply maintain a friendship. Are personalities don’t shine in one another’s presence, rather we bring out the ugly the lies beneath us. Maybe it’s just me, perhaps I have made up my mind and because you I believe this, that’s what it shall be. Perhaps it’s all my fault. Maybe I’ve just decided in my mind that I don’t like this individual, their character, personality, and how they make me feel. They have a way of hurting me more than anyone. I don’t know why I give them that power over me but it comes in waves. I don’t know what I believe anymore. But the more I think about it, I realize that I feel no sorrow when I am without their presence. What does that tell me? Could it be that they remind me of my worst self, my mistakes? Could that be why I avoid them. Or is it notable of me to surround myself by those who bring me the most happiness. Although this person brings no intentional pain. I am lost. Is there a line between moral obligation and personal growth. If so, where does it lie?
I write my thoughts in times of stress and discomfort. Accepting the feelings brings me peace and stillness. I am not yet ready to claim my work because I am afraid, but please comment and share your thoughts. Conversation nurses growth.