Square peg in a round hole

We’ve all got our quirks I suppose. Small things here and there that give us character and individuality. I don’t think its the small things though, that make us panic about being “normal”, or “not normal”. I think its the big ones. The things that make us so different that we no longer conform to societies expectations. These last few months I have been absolutely tearing myself up about the decision I have to make on a career. I’ve finally gotten past the whole “late in life start” thing only to realize that….college is just not for me (gasp!). And picking one career for the next 30 years isn’t for me either. It’s why I couldn’t decide. I don’t think I’m cut out to be just one thing. My mind is flighty. My soul is flighty. Which means I get bored easily…so the idea of having the same job for decades? Absolutely terrifying. I’ve had to except the fact the I will never have a higher education  (except from the school of life , hah).  Thats is a hard pill to swallow. I just….wanted to be successful. And maybe I will….being a welder. And a bartender. And a locksmith. And any other job that comes my way and strikes my fancy. But is that okay? Okay with me? Pride is a powerful thing, and I guess as a high school drop-out I always wanted to mend my broken pride. Go to college and prove I’m not an idiot. Prove to myself most of all. Can I let that go? Fuck, it hurts to let that go. 

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