is it you or my brain thats destroying us

I’ve never began a relationship before where I was completely smitten in love. I never had someone who was so clearly head-over-heels in love with me and willing to throw themselves completely into a new relationship with no hesitations. I have never began a relationship where the feelings were 100% mutual. That was until I met you. I gave you every ounce of my mind, heart, and soul . 

But when the light began to dim, it was easy for you to stop trying, to stop putting in all the effort you once did. Because you knew I was so stuck on you, and that I would do anything and everything to continue loving you and continue making this work. 

I think it took me until now to realize what blind love was. I was blind to every one of your flaws. But now, with a baby coming, I have so much more to consider. I have to consider one major factor:

we’re nothing alike. 

I am an emotional being, “oversensitive” some may say. Emotions rule my life, and they always have. I am distrustful, needy, and need constant mental support to know that I am loved.  I put you before myself always. 

You are closed off, you are logical, you use your brain before your heart, and you put yourself first because you love yourself (which is okay, if anything I am envious of your self love). 

I am an artist. You like science. I am compassionate and a dreamer. You are a realist. I don’t try to please everyone, just the few people I dedicate my life to. You need the approval of everyone around you to feel good about yourself. I want to experience different cultures, sounds, language, and understand every deep meaning this earth has to offer me. You want to thrive, to provide, to succeed. 

Of course opposites can attract, in fact, many opposites can bring balance and a new perspective to one another. However, I don’t know if that is the case with us. I see your unwillingness, or maybe it is just disinterest in understanding me; my core being, my true passions.  

I know I am not perfect. I probably have more flaws than you. So thank you for loving me. But maybe we’re loving each other out of comfort.

As much as I recognize the need to evaluate this relationships future, I won’t, because I love you too much. 

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