I’m not satisfied with my recent journal posts. I haven’t had time to sit down and write my thoughts down, so I’ve done the easier thing and just reported about my day. The reason I started writing this diary was to express my thoughts and feelings to someone, not to bore you (and myself) with detailed descriptions of my day.
So let me start this entry by telling you about my day. Yesterday was sunday, this meant that I will be going back to university in the evening. I’ve spent the morning reading and then doing a pointless homework for school (which I still haven’t finished). We ate lunch at home and I packed my bags. Then my grandparents came by for afternoon coffee. We also watched football. At around six my roommate picked me up and we drove to our flat. The weather was depressing. It wasn’t raining but it was murky and moist, which is even worse now that it gets dark at 7.
Have you ever heard about a japanese saying that people have three personalities? I don’t know if it’s even true because I’ve read about it on the internet, and you can’t always trust the internet. Well, I agree with it doesn’t matter if it is an actual saying or if someone just made it up (even if it is a saying someone still had to make it up, right?). It says that every human has three different personalities – one that they show to everyone, a public one, second one that they show to their close friends and family and a third one they only show to themselves. I could dive deeper and analyze it thoroughly and find even more personalities but in general, I believe it. I notice a difference in my behaviour when I’m alone or when I’m around people. I try to lessen this difference and especially be more open about myself to others, like talk about what I like (music, movies,…) or what hobbies I’d like to have (I don’t really have any at the moment), but when an opportunity appears to do just that my anxiety kicks in and I become nervous and quiet and I avoid telling others about my opinions and preferences.