His silence is deafening

I have continued to reach out…I understand that we all deal with issues in our on way. The wondering and worrying is driving me crazy alone. Is he ok? No …really OK! But I’m shut out. Completely in all ways. I don’t know what to think ….I can’t think. I’m starting to accept that this is just how it’s all going to end. Maybe it should…regardless of the type of relationship, I hoped at the very lest friends . The truth is….when someone can’t or won’t tell you even the simplest things about his life…then it is what it is…nothing. I guess it’s my fault of course…I wanted it to be more than it is…

Ahhh he tried..i remember the other times he was occupied and slow responding. I’ll step back I was going to say gracefully…I don’t think sobbing feeling as if I will surely die from this God awful feeling in my chest…is very graceful. I can’t even began to explain the kind of hurt I feel…its not because he skipped on to the next wench…its how he did it! I’ll even throw the benefit of doubt out there and say…its possible there’s something OTHER than a she or he that’s caused him to be distant and polite….its not any better and because I love this man….its past time I move back…let him find someone he CAN share his thoughts feelings…happy,mad and sad…momemts with cause it’s damn sure not I. Going on 4 years…and if you can’t or won’t by now….know….you never will….hes precious and kind to most and was to me…he made and gave me beautiful momememts and sooo many unforgettable…im selfish …very..because I know I will never feel they way he makes me feel again…and that chest .. 

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