10/08/2018 – Blurred Time

These last few weeks have been amazing. Everyday blurs into the next, and I’m falling harder and harder for this guy I met two months ago, but it feels like we’ve known each other for yers. My mind goes on these endless ramblings, trying to legitimatize everything. But I’m enjoying this high of life, savoring every moment of it. I’m here at home tonight, by myself, just because I want to miss him. 

But I’m terrified that this love is going to burn out. I think that’s why I’m letting myself fall so hard, because I’m terrified and why not live for the thrill of this love? Why not let inhibitions go and enjoy this to the fullest if it’s to burn out? But it’s been amazing honestly. I don’t know if it will burn out, we find ourselves missing each other during the day. 

Why did I fall so hard though? I don’t understand. I think he explains it best when he says we understand each other and have been through the same things. I think that by loving each other and being with each other, we’ve accepted that we are starting to love ourselves as well. We both understand that our relationship involves both of us working on fixing ourselves and helping each other. My brain is still releasing every emotion and purging itself when he’s around. It’s slowly getting better though I think. The anxiety attacks are getting shorter each time, and I’m getting better at explaining and figuring out why I’m having them. I’m thankful that he’s willing to work with me through these issues. 

This was an interesting brain dump. I’m anxious to share it, but here goes.  

Can someone please tell Bulbasaur to stop texting so much? 

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