Another counseling session

well had a counseling session we talk about mom dying I still don’t get it I ask Mary if her mom was alive and she told me no she passed away 8 months ago so I ask her how she felt Mary told me she missed her alot they talked everyday. So I ask her why if a teenager feels the same way it is a big deal. Mary said well nobody said you was not handling it well I’m just here in cause you need to talk which is totally not what I was told when this started. I talk to mom a lot I know she is not right there but that’s not the point. Everybody says have faith but there actions are just opposite of what they actually do.

Mary says I need to get out and go more like I use to I have became to cut off. Let me see I use to go to the skatepark pretty much everyday mom dropped me off I use to go horseback riding alot when I was not at the skatepark. Ok now let’s look at it now Dad don’t get home till after 6 from work mom took me after school and I was home by 630 plus it has rained almost everyday since mom died and the park has been closed for repairs for 2 1/2 weeks as for riding my horse Mmmm it has been muddy and rain for 2 weeks. I had school work to make up because I missed school when mom died. I’m not complaining because dad works late I get that I like to eat so no work no eat not that hard

I ask Mary now explain to me how I should act and how often I should go places. She looked at me well everyone is different  so there no right and wrong. Then why am I here. so we can help you adjust to losing your mom

Seems to me we talk in circles a lot. I ask what she meant last time when she said I was trying to find myself. She said I would know when I did. what does that even mean

The one thing I have learned you can use counselling to do about anything you want are I mean when you mess up you have something to blame I mean I know there are good parts to it, but you learn nothing is your fault there is just a excuse for everything. I mean I do weird stuff just to see if anybody says anything not bad stuff but goofy things. 9 out of 10 times they say well he is going through a lot  I guess my point is maybe just treat us like you always did and stop making excuses for what we do maybe we did weird stuff before and we’ll do weird stuff now maybe that is just us if your lucky we will outgrow it. Maybe I like peanut butter and mustard or maybe I’m the only teen that don’t play video games could be i’m still wearing one shoe because it is all I want to wear now  cause I’m not you. maybe I don’t like Tv is why I never watch it, I love to go to the movies, maybe I eat hot peppers because I like the taste not for the reaction from others. maybe I don’t have a lot of stuff because I save my money because I’m a tightwad maybe I like to dress like a skater sometimes and a cowboy other time depending on my mood I’m not anybody but me. and don’t fit in a box 

anyway my thoughts after being fixed by experts today HAhahahahahahahaha 

4 thoughts on “Another counseling session”

  1. Please keep writing. If it helps you at all just do it. Your observations are interesting and make a lot of sense.

  2. I’m so glad that you are YOU, Blake. You’ll get through this fine.

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