Trust Betrayed

Warning:  The following  contains very negative thoughts.  I don’t want your suggestions to try to fix my situation.  If you can identify with what I’m saying and/or you may share your experience. 

I don’t remember ever being in a relationship where I thought so negatively all the time.  You certainly bring out the worst in me. Relationships are supposed to bring out the best in people. But that’s for healthy relationships and obviously ours is not. 

Because of your betrayal, lies, deception and omissions, I doubt everything that comes out of your mouth. I doubt your so-called honesty to my face and your integrity when I’m not around. I’m not sure why I’m still hanging around you.  I do not have much hope for our relationship.

You’re more of a cock whore than I ever imagined. And the last guy before you I didn’t even bother dating because he was a major cock whore.   Why would you want to be with someone like me who wants someone straight for a monogamous relationship?  Obviously you are bisexual. I don’t have anything against people wanting to be bisexual, gay or whatever. But it’s just not for me. I played in the minor leagues and that’s as far as I went. I’m not a fulltime  bisexual woman.  

How can you tell me that you want to be monogamous with me when when you obviously want to go out and suck dick and be fucked by men. Not even men who are dressed up as trans women.  For you it’s obvious that anyone will do.

It’s only a matter of time before you start to wander away again.  And I’m angry because I can’t let you go. I’m angry because I believe all your sweet talk.  No matter how much you obey and do the things that I ask or command I still do not trust you I still believe that you are hiding things from me like you have before. You were able to behave in a very loving affectionate way and still betray me. you did not give me any clues. As much as I care about you I also hate you. I hate you for being a fucking asshole, slut, easy whore.

I hate that I picked someone like my ex. You share traits with a couple of different exes. And I hate it.  Half the time when I look at you I want to kiss you only because my libido is relentless. At the rest of the time I want to punch you or a slap you in the face and kick you in the balls.

You only want to be with someone, anyone who will have you. Your standards are very low and this does not make me feel very special. But obviously if I stay with you I guess I would be lowering my standards as well. 

How did it even make sense, a bisexual man wants to be with a woman who was expecting monogamy?  I’ve asked you numerous times if you are willing to give up half of your nature. You keep telling me that you are but I don’t believe you. You have been with more penis than you have vajayjay. How will you ever get over that?  And it looks like you still want to be promiscuous.  so again I’m wondering why the fuck do you want to be with me? Why make promises that you know that go against your nature. You are who you are and you should just find someone else to accept you the way you are and who lives this lifestyle as well.  

Obviously I’m a very jealous woman. I have been honest and upfront with you since the beginning. Sharing a lot of personal details about my life. But you could not have the courtesy of repaying me the favor by being honest with me. And that fucking sucks. You fucking suck.

3 thoughts on “Trust Betrayed”

  1. I’m sorry this person is causing such internal conflict for you. On the one hand, he has something special that you wanted, on the other hand, he is dishonest and hurtful to you.
    We don’t always get to know why people are how they are. But at some point we just have to accept how they are and then make our own decisions based on the current situation.
    I’m sorry he is hurting you.

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