1. All the stuff that he does for me, dancing, yoga, movies, Universal Studios, Beach, going out to eat, writing assignments, videos, exercises, photos, punishment, meeting family or friends, etc, What does it all really mean? Is it just busy work for him? Is he actually learning anything about himself? How does any of it help him? A lot of these things he can do with platonic friends. He does not necessarily need me for any of this. He just needs a couple of friends nearby and then he can still go hook up with anonymous people. He probably should go back to hooking up with transwomen since that’s what he’s accustomed to and seems to prefer. He prefers a smooth sissy person with a dick. Our relationship was some kind of social experiment. The excitement is over. Now there’s just lingering nostalgia and the inability to let go of each other.
2. Even though you were supposed to be on punishment for not masturbating for 30 days. You still offered to get me off. I was trying to avoid having sex with you or allowing you to get me off so I would not make it any more difficult for you. Was that also an excuse for you that because you got me off you deserve to get off as well? So just screw the punishment.
3. I’m afraid i don’t really sexually excite you anymore. I’m just enough. I’m enough to be around for companionship so you’re not alone. The novelty and excitement are gone and now you’re holding on to me for your own psychological reasons.
4. This situation with us the break in trust, makes me feel old, obsolete and unexciting. I feel like I no longer hold any excitement for you. The experimentation and fetishes have died down. Are you only with me out of a sense of routine or the fear of being alone? Does it give you something to do to hang out with me? You may get nervous and worked up when I have you do the assignments and you are eager to please but there is no longer a spark with us. Is there a?
[ ] What has made me suspicious of thee? Let me count the ways…
• Keeping someone’s panties for the first three months of our relationship without telling me anything that you were masturbating.
• not following the rules in the contract regarding masturbation within the first 3 months.
• Excessive masturbating without approval.
• Being on a dating website
• Chatting with others from a dating website
• Attempting to meet up with people from a dating website
• Not talking to me about your thoughts and feelings before attempting to get on a dating website
• Masturbating again breaking the rules of the punishment
• Again not talking to me before breaking my rules
• Watching porn without permission
• Masturbating without permission
• Watching animal porn and scat porn
[ ] In another document I wrote down pros and cons regarding this relationship.
[ ] I asked you the same question several times and each time I got a different answers.
• I was in pain and needed to relieve it
• I don’t want you to become too attached to me.
• I thought you were setting me up.
• I wanted to have less chances of coming when I was having sex with you
[ ] I’m wondering if after these two weeks our schedules will not coincide whatsoever. I’m worried about that because then we really will not get to see each other very much or at all. That’s just the downside. Maybe we will have some time that we can spend together. Knowing me I will be more worried than ever that you will be seeking out other people’s company. When I go to see you I will be looking around for all kinds of evidence and noticing different things that you did not tell me about because we’ve been out of touch. Things will feel so difference. I don’t mean to be a downer just being realistic.
[ ] I don’t know how else to be positive. Because it all depends on you. and I know it sucks that I’m putting even more pressure on you by saying something like that. The more pressure you feel the more anxiety feel the more you want to masturbate and the more that you want to seek out other people.