Completely lost, alone and empty

I never could image that my own parents would completely turn their backs on me and just not even care anymore. 

I just cant believe that anybody who is a parent themselves would just choose to stand aside and do absolutely nothing at all to help their son. As he continues to struggle to hold on to the little bit he has left in his life. 

I need help and there isnt a single place I can it. I dont even know how to explain things into words anymore with how I am feeling inside and cant begining to figure out how to put it into a sentence to start. 

I have given everything I could possibly do into my life to make it good. Only to end up being punished by life itself for doing to best that I can do to ensure I live a good life. However, life itself decides that it doesnt want the perfect life anymore so in return for making life feel happy. It makes everything fall apart so I can feel the sadness life can have n can control.

I no longer know what to do and just cant see myself moving forward anymore. I need a sign to show me way. I need to know that if i continue to fight I will win and not fail to walk out with nothing/nobody left to want to even have a life overall. 

I nothing know what it is that I should be doing that will be right. If I knew them I shouldnt feel the way that I do inside. So ive decide that Im going to write it down so the people that I was responsible for can know that amount of things ive done and continue to do and not give up even after the countless times ive failed or tired. 

Like why cant I even have somebody to talk with about anything as I cant find any help its the least that I could have right?? Nope thats not the case with me and its getting worst and almost unbearable now. I cant keep this up any longer and I would like to tell the people that I have so much that regardless or whatever it was they I thrown at me like a tone of bricks. I got up all by myself and continued on. But im getting too tired now and unable to go on and im sorry I failed. 

I need to find support. Please give me the strength to keep me going as I need help and can no longer do and feel the way i do on my own with nobody there to care or even know. Please give me a sign or something…anyone or anything please i beg you!!

One thought on “Completely lost, alone and empty”

  1. Tbh. There is a verse I think could help you a lot, dear. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5 I THINK. This just means to believe Jesus the Lord is with you and cares about you and will never desert you. Let Him be your Lord and Savior. Savior from what? The pain and loneliness you are going through now. And HE will direct your paths. He’ll show you where to go, what to do and say. I will be praying for you. May God bless you greatly.

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