paper hearts

i usually find myself thinking about the past, or my future and it makes me miss out on so many great things. i can’t focus on “right now”, stuck in the past and still regretting something i said 3 years ago. 

i probably should give up on that habit. i don’t want to miss out on life just because i am too much of an idiot who can’t see that life is still going no matter what happened in the past or what will happen in the future. 

i am finally starting to take art classes tomorrow, but i will have to meet a  lot of people and my anxiety is making it hard for me. i am so scared to realize that i am not talented even though everyone says that i am, but i just can’t see the “talent” in myself. i drew a portrait for the art exhibition at my school last year, and it turned out better than i expected it to and i was pretty proud of it, but still… i am really self conscious about my talents. i hope i will get through it quickly. 

i was thinking of how much i love this website. it’s small and has a small amount of people who actively write entries and read others’, but it quickly became one of my favorite places to be at. everyone is supportive and full of love that it makes me think that maybe, just maybe, world is not that bad. 

(also indeed savedbygrace seems like a nice person, max. she is really sweet!) 

i wonder what will happen if this website shuts down one day. all of the friends we made here will be gone and… it will be kind of sad for me. sometimes when people i know in real life can’t comfort me, you guys can with a couple of words and i couldn’t be more thankful. i just wish that when this website starts dying slowly, we will all be carefree and happy people, and these days will remain as nice memories. 

i guess this is all i want to talk about for today.

did you guys have a nice day? i shall go and read some entries and leave a couple of comments because i am feeling like it.

i will see you in my next entry! 

2 thoughts on “paper hearts”

  1. Wish I could see your artwork, Dakota. I have done some painting and pottery, but I never feel talented in these areas. If other people love your work, you’re talented!!

  2. I get not being able to focus on what’s happening in the moment, though I’m not entirely sure how to not do it or why it happens. Lots of embarrassing things in the past are likely not remembered by anyone besides you and shouldn’t be dwelt over and, not implying that thinking about the future is bad or anything, but whatever you’re doing now controls what happens to you in the future to some extent, so trying not to get too distracted by what hasn’t happened yet and possibly won’t happen is a good idea. It’s pretty freakin’ difficult, though.
    Seeing that this was written a few days ago, how did your art class go? Whatever is viewed as “talent,” just like most things, varies from person to person and just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Think for a moment about what qualifies a person as talented in your eyes and you’ll probably find a few contradictions and that you’re not just straight-up talentless. I bet that your artwork is great and always remember one of the most annoying phrases in the whole of creation since it gets repeated so damn much, “practice makes perfect” 🙂
    It’ll be odd when the website’s gone, like would anybody find another journaling site? And would it be a sudden disappearance or would the creator alert everybody beforehand or would it just fade out? Would it happen anytime soon? Putting that aside, I too hope that everybody will be happy.
    Best of wishes to you and goodbye!

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