The pumpkin sweater I bought while thrift-shopping a whole month ago was probably one of the best things I’ve ever bought for myself.
So many people have told me that it looks cute today. I feel pretty in it, which is wonderful. I also put on makeup today, and it actually looks good– the eyeshadow actually looks cute with my eyeliner and my eyebrows.
What a wonderful, wonderful day. I haven’t even done anything today but class and work, but I’m just really happy wearing a nice outfit, and cute makeup. And having a nice drink, a strawberries and creme frappuccino, which is very sweet and cold.
Sometimes I still feel really inadequate and ugly and plain, but today I just feel good and happy. I’m taking some downtime to myself before a show I’ll go to that starts at ten.
Last night three of my friends went to a party and got slightly tipsy. It was funny and acutely sad for a hot moment, but they had two (and then three) more friends who were sober and walked them home. My roommate hadn’t enjoyed the party, and had left early.
Still crushing so hard on this boy, which doesn’t even make sense. It’s so weird. He’s the first person I’ve met who I’ve actually really talked to who I’ve been crushing on. It’s wild. He’s so cool and yesterday he came up to me and talked and also offered to play games with me again? Which I didn’t do since it was actually getting late and I had a test today (although I didn’t end up sleeping early anyway since I tried to help take care of my drunk friends for a little bit when they got back and were falling over each other), but YEAH so it makes me feel weird to think that he thinks of me as a friend, because I would love to be… more than that. Although friends is good enough for now, since I’m really… I’m so… I don’t want to say that I’m not good enough for him, because what I mean is, I don’t have experience with relationships and no one has ever really been interested in me that way so I don’t know how to feel things like this, because I keep feeling like NO ONE is going to be interested in me that way ever.
But anyway, anyway. I’m actually doing so well. Can you believe this semester is already more than half over? I got a 96 on my second gov exam and I’m so SHOOK to the core because I was expecting to do really poorly. Work is going on, I’ll be getting my first paycheck at the end of the week HOORAY, and my makeup is on point today and my outfit is hellsa fucking cute and it’s Halloween and I’m crushing on someone really cool and AHHHHHHH life is good, it’s so good. It’s so good for me right now.