164. How the tables have turned

I’ve avoided thinking about Gabby since she left again… a full thought, not just those smaller flickers of reminders. Maybe I’ve been forcing them to just be flickers…

i miss her now

it hurts a little more at this moment…

we’re so good together, idk what freaks her out so much to keep leaving…. 

funny for me to say this…

it really it heart breaking to love and want to be with someone, who isn’t in the same position… not because they don’t care, but because they just aren’t ready….

i have never regretting ripping through those women the way I did the past two years, the way I do now: I never grasp the pain I was causing being broken, and not knowing my path. 

 

What if im wrong…and she just never really felt the way she said… 

why am I even doing this to my self….. all it does it cut the small little threads that hold me together

 

ha… 

:-/

 

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