I don’t know how to flirt.

My group’s final engineering project is worrying, since it doesn’t work. I’m not actually that scared of a bad grade, since our professor said he wouldn’t be docking that many points for that, but it’ll be embarrassing if it doesn’t work in time for our presentation next week.

I love sitting in my room, at my desk, chilling with my vanilla lamp on. It smells wonderful.

Ice cold water is delicious.

The warmth is making me sleepy.

I can’t quite stop thinking about this boy and how I have sat down next to him twice to play games on his laptop and had my shoulder pressed up against his, and how nice that felt, and how cute and funny he is, and how easy it is to talk to him, and how much I like him and want him to like me back, and how I haven’t seen him in about a month but I still can’t get him out of my head. I also can’t stop thinking about how I’m probably just projecting my own feelings onto him, and how guilty I feel for thinking about him so intensely when he probably just thinks of me as a friend– but for god’s sake, I don’t know how to interpret boys’ actions, and the whole sitting shoulder-to-shoulder thing made me far too giddy and confused to think rationally about the whole situation. The whole does-he-like-me train of thought makes me feel quite dumb and obsessive, and I really wish I had someone who could answer my questions and tell me definitively whether or not he was flirting with me, or just acting totally normal while I was just overthinking things.

Hmm. Interesting times.

I’m very clueless about most things, but I have been trying to reason through my own emotions and make sense of them so I can become happier and more stable.

One thought on “clueless.”

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