day sixty and sixty one

On thursday, we finally started working with nautical charts in navigation class. We were given those plastic briefcases with three charts and tools (two triangles, a parallel ruler, a divider and a pencil) a couple of weeks ago, but only started using them this week. The only problem is that the charts are really large and the desks are tiny, so it is impossible to have the whole chart on the table which leads to unintentionally bending corners of the charts. This has a good side as well, I can be alone at a table and just concentrate on my work instead of explaining everything to others. I always help other students if they ask me to, but it annoys me, because I can not do my work and I fall behind on what the professor is saying. I do not mind it if someone works hard and simply does not understand something, but usually the ones asking are students who never listen to professors and skip classes.

After the evening maths class I came home alone, because my roommate became a maths tutor and was teaching some classmates stuff we just learned. I had my alone time and I enjoyed it.

Friday was as usual, we did not get any homework which was nice. After that we went home. A friend that went with us asked if we could hurry, because he needed to be home in an hour and a half, in order to extend his bus ticket for next month. My roommate (who is the driver) said that we would surely made it in an hour, although the drive normally takes well over an hour and we had to stop on the way to drop the fourth person who went with us. I do not understand how you can believe we would make it in time and sit on the phone for 15 minutes when a friend asked you if you can get him home in time.

I have not been in the best mindset recently. I can not tell what is wrong with me, but I just feel down. I am fed up with everyone and want to be left alone and yet, I feel lonley and want someone to talk to. Whenever I am around people I zone out, ignore them and get lost in my thoughts. If someone talks to me I answer in the shortest way possible, attempting to make them stop talking to me. Writing these is the only way I can express my thoughts completely and be honest.



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