day sixty four

I am 19. I talked about my birthday yesterday and it felt exactly the same this year. We had a test to take, and I think I did well. Rest of the day was calm, I studied for wednesday’s test for a bit, read and that was pretty much it.

Three people wished me a happy birthday in person. My roommate and two other schoolmates that saw it on facebook. I said I am not phased by birthdays, but seeing how many (or how little) people remembered to wish me was a sad revelation how little people care about me. Of course my family members wished me via text or a call, but only two of my ‘friends’ messaged me. It makes me feel unimportant, like people only bother to call me when they need something from me, and not because they actually like me. A song called Birthday by Maisie Peters says it in a similar way. Fun (or maybe not so fun) fact – video for this song came out on my birthday last year and it made the song special to me, because that is how I felt last year, my whole family at the party, but I still felt like this one special person (that I do not have) did not call.

My parents already gave me their present. It was a series of books that I kind of expected (L.A. Quartet by James Ellroy). I never knew what I wanted to get as presents, because I never needed anything. But since I started reading again, there are a lot of books I want to read, but can’t, because I read books in english and my local library only has a small section of english books, mostly the ones that I do not find interesting. So, I gave my parents a list of books I would like to read, so they could give them as presents. I also got a bottle of wine. I do not drink wine, I rarely drink alcohol in general, but this summer, when I was on holidays in Porto with my parents, we sometimes went to this small bar after dinner and the waiter recommended us a specific wine so we tried it. It was really good, not at all like the other wines I tried. My parents liked it too, and after we returned back home I would jokingly ask them when are they going to buy the wine, so the rest of the family could try it. You can not get the wine in my country, so they had to get it online. It was a gift they got for laughs, but we still drank it and it still tastes good.



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