Lots of Changes

It has been a while since I’ve written in my journal. My nephew on June 1st shot his Uber passenger for attacking him as he drove on the freeway. He is still locked up in Denver, CO. The passenger died. This was considered first degree murder. Most of the people I speak to say it sounds like self-defense. Even though my nephew had a license to carry a weapon, the Uber organization ban drivers from carrying a gun. I do write to him as often as I can which can be two to three times a week. He has never ever been in trouble with the law. This is very trying on him mentally and physically. He goes to trial court April 2019.  I received a letter from him yesterday saying he is not feeling well. His mental health is messing with him. I will continue to pray for his release and a start of a new beginning. He has a beautiful wife and two lovely small sons. He was attending Art College in Denver, Co.  This is the only son that my brother has.                                                        As this has been a shock to the family, so has the diagnosis of  throat cancer for my husband. He is 67 years old and loves to fish as often as he can. He has already had four weeks of chemotherapy and radiation. He is “NOT” retired from his welding job as of yet. He plans on returning when he beats this cancer disease. The time away from his job is not easy on him since he is not known for ever missing going to work. After these four weeks of treatment, he is beginning to get weak. I have tried to service him to help him stay comfortable. I am a retied school teacher. This is my second year of being retired. I’m glad I made the decision to retired to be home without incident of having to retire. My husband is very frustrated, anxious, confused at times, depressed, and short tempered. I have to remember this is not his fault and don’t take things personal that he says or does that offends me. I too one day may need his understanding and care in the future and hope he will be patient with me.                                             I lost my father to mouth cancer February 2018, Mom 2015, and my youngest sister, 2017.  It seems like it’s not going to stop. Whose next?                                                                                                              I’m 62 years of age and was looking forward to enjoying life after retirement. We aren’t promised tomorrow is certainly a true statement. I am trying to live by that quote more each day. I even put my Christmas tree up the day before Thanksgiving which I have never done. I usually put it up the week of Christmas. I find myself over the years waiting for others to do things for me that aren’t getting done. I am waiting on others, instead of waiting on myself. That has to stop. I have simple things I want to do. For example, just going to a nice restaurant  alone in a corner and eat dinner while I read a book or read my from my Kindle app. I want to go and sit on the beach in Galveston for exactly 30 minutes alone and just think. Why am I scared to do such simple things alone? It has to stop! Tomorrow might not come for me. 
  I am happy for my youngest son starting a new job today at Homedepot. He has a hard time finding something that fits his skills. He went to barber college and did a pretty good job, but fears taking the state exam. He was a child that had a learning disability which most dealt with focusing. I see a lot of me in him and hope to help him get over it. Even though I know he will have to work though it . He is twenty-one and had always been bullied as a child and it really did affect him. He is angry and bitter a lot at the world. When he is happy, I love watching that change in his face. I can only pray and give him positive and true advice to keep him motivated. It’s time for me to close now. I have to prepare some type of soft food for my husband to swallow. God bless this world. Praise be God! 
Oh, my oldest sister moved away from Texas to Virginia this past summer. She retired from teaching and sold her house. She has always lived in Texas where we were raised. We lived in the same city. She got in touch with an ex-boyfriend from the 80’s on Facebook and they rekindled their lives. She has never married or had kids. I’m happy for her to be able to find love again. She is 63 years of age. I pray this will be a good relationship. You only live once. 
The anniversary of the death of my youngest sister will be December 19. She had a second stroke and died while eating which caused her to choke. Dying at age 59 is so young. She wanted to be cremated. I have no where to visit. Now I’m left in Texas without any immediate family members. It’s sad. 

One thought on “Lots of Changes”

  1. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I hope the best for your nephew. I’m sure the court will see it for the self defense it is. My best to your husband! Good luck to both of you! I think a nice 30 min alone on the beach to regroup sounds like a perfect idea!

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