Friends with Benefits vs. ‘Proper’ Relationships

Dear Diary,

I want to be in a relationship but not the lovey-dovey relationship you see on television or in movies. I want the relationship where they don’t see each other for ages and they have the occasional night of passion and then they go off to live their lives. Is that weird?

Relationships have never been my thing, I hate the idea of someone knowing everything about me and sticking to the same person for a long period time. Maybe its because I have never had a long relationship and I have got used to that. When I was with my exes we saw each other but we lived our own lives and didn’t really spend a lot of time together. One of them lives in London while I live in the South of the UK.

I have given it a lot of thought and it got me wondering, have I ever cheated on one of my exes and why I did it if I did? (This is the Mormon guy) So I Googled it and I saw this article. Before I paste it I must tell you that we were never ‘official’ and I would call my relationship: weekly sex, friends with benefits, fuck buddies etc.

It said in the article it says: “Your FWB is not your partner. They’re allowed to date, tinder stalk, or Facebook friend anyone they wants. If you find out they’re interested in someone, that’s okay, they’re not cheating on you. You’re free to date anyone you want, too.” Turns out I didn’t cheat. 

What made me think that I cheated on him was, while we were still ‘together’ but we were on the rocks because he was going back to the church I was chatting to other guys on Tinder and organising dates. I never went on one before I broke up with him. But once I had broken up with him (and had some break up sex) I went on a date with someone a week after.

Realising that I prefer sex over a relationship was a hard pill to shallow because you expect yourself to find ‘the one’ and fall head over heels in love with them because that’s what happens in movies and with your friends. But I don’t want that, sleeping with people and keeping it casual seem better to me. 

Leave a Comment: