Lack of patience

My mind is running a mile  minute and my body well not so much.I feel like a loser. im not the woman i was 2 years ago, i feel like an old, crazy, shell. My body isnt a in shape perfect specimen of a show piece.Its never been one,But before the spinal fusion atleast i could say it was strong. I could lift and climb and bend, run and hoarse around like a kid, Now im going to be 32 in a few days and i cant even walk without tripping over my own damn foot. Screw it  as much as i want to type my thoughts out,Im just not in the damn mood. Im angry annoyed and Jealous. I should be grateful and most days i am but today im having multiple moments of feeling sorry for myself,maybe its the weather or the end of the retrograde, fuck if i know! im going to watch hannibal and hopefully fall asleep. fingers crossed my dreams wont be shitty.

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