I can say today was a good day and out the door by 8:30. went to Pasadena to sit and wait two hours for the in demand eye specialist to take 5 minutes to take a look at my moms eye and say come back in a week, small blessings things could have been worse for her. i still cant believe she was insistent that she drive us there (still a better driver then most) with one eye behind a patch. Deciding to go out for lunch and celebrate we headed to Norms.
Lunch at norms was another quiet victory, my sister was able to eat and use a restaurant bathroom! yes, i know the though of wtf just popped up, my 17 year old sister had ausbergers and is germaphobic/ocd. anything that is out of the normal schedule or has no interest in is a automatic shut down and flip out. Family excursions that go on without any sort of hiccups are very rare. to be a “normal” family out and about was a great moment.
My last christmas presents that i was having a few issues on are corrected and will be here in time for the holiday. the only one im worried about is boyfriends moms tee. i checked the status and it should be printed and shipped out asap!tomorrow i have the last bit of errands to run and take care of. The sister needs a couple things,after that im golden.
Female best frien called finally and came over, shes been inn a funk and the pills sure didnt help but shes finally having a decent day. it was at this time that we started going through our phones and looking at pictures from the past, alot of good memories and some that hurt to see. a few of them were of my ex…. yes it stung emotionally. i need to close the book on him and move on completly. theirs a piece that will always be there but its time i try and put that at the far back of my mind. its time to try….
hes removed from my snap,which means the one way i was able to look in and see i no longer have the ability to do. i did this and t felt like i made a immediate istake right after,but now its done and my pride wont let me go back. Pride! not anything else. what does that even say… i cant afford to wonder,it was the best decision i could make to try and move forward. i cant control my memories very well but the physical media that basically keeps me unhealthy addicted i can change, let the holidays and my birthday be my own focus not if he will be nostalgic and reach out to me . i can do that anymore, i have something good in this negative time of mine,i need to focus on that. small steps and quiet victories. today I had a few.I can live with that..